Who you are makes your kids feel bad (and you don’t even know it) – Episode 018

Talking to a teacher who was having a problem with her students. Had an opportunity to observe the classroom and immediately felt and saw the high levels of stress and anxiety in the room (you could feel it). After my initial observations we had a very productive talk, and this is what we talked about…
Your students are different than you.
– You look different to them
– Many of them come from different socioeconomic environments
– Or they can think they are better than you
– They have difficulty understanding long term thinking
– We need to take into account their background because they are still creating a map of the world
– Have to take into account biology and neural development
– Kids want to look up to you
– They want you to be successful
– They want you to be all knowing
– Because that makes them feel safe
– That helps them feel taken cared of
– When so many of them are not
So when they see you, in an environment full of messages (society, advertising, social media) created in order for you to feel bad… it automatically makes them feel bad
– Because your too smart (in comparison)
– Too successful (for many)
– To good looking (for some)
 The dissonance between who you are and them is starling
Why is it so overwhelming?
Because their reality is their emotions
– Their emotions are more real to them than anything else
– How they feel is a greater influence over their behavior than anything or anyone else
– Which is why we need to be the best part of their day
We need to Smile
– We need to help them feel good
– We need to help them feel better about themselves
– We need to help them feel good about the person they are BECOMING. And support them on their journey
– They are not done growing and learning!
– We need to engage them on an emotional level
– Because that’s where they are; emotional and governed by their emotions
– And once we can connect with them on an emotional level, understand their world view, then our lines of communication are established
– Then we see eye to eye
– THEN, we can mode forward and pass along information that will benefit them
– Pass along information that will make their lives better, pass along information that will help them think, be better informed, and be better as a citizenX as a husband a father and as a mother
– Help them become better human beingsWhen it’s all said and done
You are going to be a story in their minds and I their hearts; a story that they will play over and over again for the rest of their lives
You WILL be their only 1st grade, 2nd grade, high school English and math teacher
And the way you made them FEEL will be your lasting legacy, that they will carryNot one of your student will give a $$$$ about your power point presentationThere is not a single student in your classroom that will ever remember how well your graphed were, no matter how long you took to do itThe void, the dissonance that exists between you and your students is real; fill it with kindness
Fill it with understanding and love
Fill it with patience
Fill it with your heart, which you give to each of your students… because you can, and because you have it to giveYou are the adult; you are automatically at an advantage over them. Do not abuse your power

And if you don’t have it to give, you will need to do some soul searching as to why… and do something about it… because we need self aware humans in the classroom, to fill that void with understanding and patience l, so that the next generation can grow up even more self aware, and continue this momentum forward

Every day
Every lesson
Every student… sealed with your smile 🙂

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